Precious Gift

July 25th, 2012

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains

found a precious stone in a stream.

The next day she met another traveler who was hungry,
and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food.

The hungry traveler saw the precious stone

and asked the woman to give it to him.

She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left rejoicing in his good fortune.
He knew the stone was worth enough to give him
security for a lifetime.

But, a few days later,
he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “I know how valuable this stone is,
but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something
even more precious.

Give me what you have within you that
enabled you to give me this stone.”

Sometimes it’s not the wealth you have
but what’s inside you that others need

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in blog | No Comments »

Restoring Trust

June 12th, 2012


You’ve heard this truth:  It takes a lot to earn trust,
but little to lose it.

Any misstep – a breach of confidence, not showing up, a so-called joke – can turn a trusting relationship into one of uncertainty and skepticism.  Unaddressed, that bond breaks and mistrust redirects the relationship.

So here’s the big – though, perhaps, unpopular – question:

Who is the person in your life – at work, at home or otherwise –
who trusts you less than they used to because of something you’ve done?

Just in case your mind named a person and quickly jumped to the story behind the scenes – why it happened, who was involved, all of that mental chatter – let it go.  Your intent isn’t at issue here.  Your impact is.  You’ve lost some of his or her trust.

Do you want to restore it?  Would a return to trust benefit either or both of you?  Let’s say your answer to both questions is Yes. There are some key things you have to do:

  • Acknowledge the breach and do it soon.
    Don’t cringe. You may have to muster some courage and endure feeling a bit exposed, but that’s better than having your weakness for addressing the issue be perceived as wickedness.
  • Apologize.
    Be sincere, straightforward about what happened, and ask for forgiveness.  Describe the unwanted effect of your behavior.  While you’re admitting your mistake, though, don’t load the description with excuses.  Frankly, you’re likely the only one who cares about your reasons.  Your colleague or family member simply wants to know what you’re going to do to rectify the situation.
  • Identify the behavior changes you will make and implement them.
    Actions speak so much louder than words.  You have to follow through.

Now.  Let’s walk through the situation you want to repair:

Whose trust did you break?

__________________________________________________________________

What did you do?

__________________________________________________________________

Why do you want to restore this trust?

__________________________________________________________________

What words are important in your apology?

__________________________________________________________________

What three behavior changes will you make in order to restore the relationship?

1) __________________________________________________________________


2) __________________________________________________________________


3) __________________________________________________________________

How will you establish accountability for following through with these efforts?

__________________________________________________________________

By what date will you approach the person whose trust you affected?

______________________

Good for you for figuring this out. Now, you certainly know the next step:  Go take care of it.

Best wishes!

May you continue to have Bright Ideas!

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in blog | No Comments »

Building Trust

May 25th, 2012

Don’t tell me that you’re trustworthy.
Show me.


How you behave on a day-to-day basis will determine whether others will trust you.  Your values, your communication, the extent to which you demonstrate caring and openness, your competence as well as your reliability and believability – all of these characteristics blend to engender trust.

Following are twenty behaviors that build trust.  Select three of them that you really want to implement.  Then, concentrate, do them, make them habits, and pick three more.

  • There is someone to whom you made a promise and you haven’t delivered.  Follow-up and follow through.
  • You can complete a task that would make someone else’s work or life easier. Do it . . . without fanfare.
  • Think about someone who has great talent or potential.  Invest some time in helping him/her stretch.
  • Someone you know seems to be more subdued lately.  Initiate a friendly conversation that demonstrates that he/she is not alone.
  • Sit down with a co-worker and learn what’s going on in his/her job.  Identify a need he/she has that you can fulfill.
  • You claim to have a certain value but you did not uphold it in a recent instance.  Return to that circumstance and make it right.
  • Find ways to share bits of information about yourself to create a sense of connection.
  • Return to the people with whom you’ve had a recent awkward or uncomfortable exchange.  Express your desire to clear the air and do so right then.
  • Volunteer to do something above and beyond the norm.
  • Figure out what pieces of information you should share with your co-workers that will clarify or simplify their work.
  • Discover ways to decrease the level of competition that exists around you.
  • Acknowledge to the person affected that you have been inconsistent. Then, correct the situation.
  • Identify an experience you can create that will help someone else have a win.
  • Praise someone for collaborating with others.
  • Strategize with a co-worker on an issue that is important to you both.
  • Offer feedback to someone who has been seeking it.
  • Apologize for a mistake.
  • Invite someone to give his/her opinion on an important topic.
  • Accept responsibility for cleaning up a problem and follow-through quickly.
  • Set a positive example even when others fail to do so.

Teach me to believe in you.
All things considered, I want to give you my trust.



Tags: , , ,
Posted in blog | No Comments »

Trust: An Assessment

May 2nd, 2012

It’s that gut feeling;
that instinct that makes you squint your eyes ever so slightly and stare,
leaning your head faintly to the right.

You’re not so sure about that person, are you?
You’re not certain he’s telling you the truth.
There’s something more that she’s not saying.

You watch him.  You notice whether he looks away when he’s making a point,
or whether she holds her chin because she’s uncomfortable with her words.

They want your buy-in.  Your decision?  You’ll wait and see.

Trust is a powerful emotion.

Think about how well you trust the people who surround you most:
your co-workers, your boss, your partner, your family.

Are they clear about what’s right and what’s wrong and take the high road
or are they comfortable with deceit, no matter how small?

Do they take responsibility for their decisions and actions,
or do they deflect and point fingers at others?

Do they act as though they care?
For whom?  Others or themselves?

Can you count on them – and do you?
Would you be willing to take a big risk with them as your back-up?

Trust determines how much you’ll invest, doesn’t it?
It governs whether you’ll embrace them or hold them off;
whether you’ll be transparent or keep your secrets;
whether you’re even willing to show them what you have to offer.

It’s sobering to think about.
Giving them your trust is not to be taken lightly.
It’s a very big deal.

Now.  Ponder this:
You co-workers, your boss, your partner and your family
are also reading this message now and thinking about you.

How will you rate?  Have you earned their trust?

Is there something you can do today to increase it?


The upcoming Bright Ideas will offer some tips.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in blog | No Comments »

My “Promise”

April 18th, 2012

Take five minutes.  You’re entitled to a break.  Find a quiet place to sit, think and write.  Shut the door, escape the noises, close the blinds, if you must.  No interruptions allowed.  Quiet.  Five minutes.

One of the reasons you walk this planet is to fulfill your promise.  That’s the action that you and only you can do because it’s done in your individual way.  Answer the following questions. You’ll get closer to defining or confirming your very special promise.

  • If I did this one thing, I would feel that I really, really, (really) mattered . . . .

(Think beyond the experiences of being an outstanding parent,
partner, child or employee. Focus more singly on your interests.)

  • Wouldn’t it be great if I could . . . ?
(This describes something that frequently and spontaneously
enters your mind or is a new and compelling interest.)
  • I would love to do something that has this result or impact . . . .
  • Based on what I’ve said so far, here, my “promise” might be connected to . . . .
  • Here’s one thing I can do to test that idea . . . .

Your timing for fulfilling your promise is clearly up to you.  But wouldn’t it be ideal to start now?

May you continue to have Bright Ideas!

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in blog | No Comments »

Thumbprint

April 4th, 2012

Look at your thumb,

the soft, fleshy part.

Notice the swirl of ridges.

If you run a fingernail down them,

You can feel how distinct they are.

Your thumbprint.

There is no one else . . .

never in the past, not in the present, nor ever in the future

. . . with your unmistakable thumbprint.

No one else can leave your mark.

There’s something that you are yet to do in your life that can only be done by you, only in your way.  It’s your promise. You’ve probably sensed it:  an idea that’s hovering, a desire that’s pushing, a voice that’s nagging.  Sometimes your promise screams to be freed and, other times, it cowers, afraid.  Sound familiar?

I’m not able to pull it off, you say.  I don’t have the skills, the position, the money, the confidence, the youth, the maturity, the track record, the support, the stamina, the vision, the…well, the list is long.  But guess what?  None of that is true.  You have all of what you need to complete your promise.  Every last bit of it.  Right now, you have the means to figure out each detail, the capacity to obtain every resource, and the personal magic to make it real.  Don’t look for someone else to do what’s yours to do. Your promise won’t – can’t – come through your child, your neighbor, your boss, or your friend.  If you don’t do it, quite simply, it will never be done.  So what if you have to stretch yourself, or leap beyond comfort, or abandon negative self-talk, or find your courage.  It still must be done!  Remember, this is your promise; your mark is at stake!

Have the audacity to actually believe in your greatness. Ignite your spirit and put it to work.  Require yourself to find the best path, give your top effort, and power through to the finish.  As for your inevitable excuses?  Recognize them for what they are, decipher how you’re using them to benefit you, resolve that you no longer want them, and give them the boot.  Your promise is far too important to be quashed.  It’s something that can change everything because it’s never been done and can never be replicated.  Isn’t that incredible?

Now, the task is yours.   It’s your thumbprint.  Where will you leave it?



Wishing you Bright Moments!

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in blog | No Comments »

Discover…YOU

January 24th, 2011

Wrisë D. Booker, Mentor2Leaders

As the New Year rushes in, destined to bring a whirlwind of activity, surprises and months that disappear in the blink of an eye, we really should slow down now – even at this moment – and think.  You’ve probably already given at least a passing thought to your goals for the year, your resolutions and your first steps.  If so, good for you.  The thinking I’m encouraging you to do, though, is not about that.  It’s more fundamental.

Think about you … simply you, no one else.

Chase away all images, distractions and sounds and concentrate on you.

Be peaceful and quiet.

See yourself.

Think about 2010.  Who were you when the clock struck midnight?  No, not where were you, but WHO you were.  Do you remember?  Can you return to how you were feeling about yourself, your circumstance and what lay ahead?  Were you hopeful, worried or somewhere in-between?

On that night, did you have a picture of the you that would emerge by the end of the year?  If so, are you there yet?  If you never formed a picture, no worries; you’re in the company of millions.

Here’s the good news:  You can, right now, form a picture of the person you will evolve to by the end of 2011.  Consider:

When you get to New Year’s Eve 2011, what do you want to be able to say about yourself?

How are you different from New Year’s Eve 2010?

What happened with your character?

What happened with how you treated your friends?  Your enemies?  The nameless people on the street?

What did you tackle that you’d been avoiding?  How did it turn out?

What did you make better?

Who’s in your life now, who wasn’t there – or at least as much – in 2010?

What do you have to smile about?

Is the picture forming?  Close your eyes.  See you. Let it surface.

There are those of us who are waiting to welcome you at the other end of this year.  May you have a wonderful journey.

Posted in blog | No Comments »